How to Avoid a Burnout when Planning your Wedding Day

Tips to Avoid Stress And Sleepless Nights When Planning A Wedding

Firstly,congratulations to those who have got engaged to the person you dream about spending your life together. Up to now its likely to have been very romantic, but now its time to make some serious decisions together on planning your big day.

The wedding planning journey, can fill those just engaged full of dread and worry, not sure where to start, what options they have, how much things cost, a budget that is running away from them. For some couples whilst they want this to be the most fun and exciting time since they got engaged, can become a time filled with hair pulling, arguments and sleepless nights as worrying about the enormity of it all.

For example, what style, venue, location, what budget, how many guests, what shall you wear, what type of wedding service do you want (Church, Registrar or Celebrant), what date you want, outdoor wedding or a hotel, entertainers, DJ or a band, what about transport, you don’t want a religious wedding but your parents do, are children welcome, what about your dog (you don’t go anywhere without your four-legged friend), who to ask to be part of your wedding party…. Well, that’s just a few questions that keep on coming and need decisions, don’t they?

No wonder anxiety kicks in.


Firstly, please do not worry if you feel anxious about the wedding, yes of course it is a big deal, but you are not on your own, as many couples feel the same way.    I’ve put together some advice that can help you feel less overwhelmed, so that you look forward to it, and enjoy the whole journey!

After all, its suppose to be fun!

Mental Health

The important factor is your health is the most important.  Its common when feeling stressed to constantly to feel tired.    Neither of you want to get to your wedding day, a bag of nerves and feel exhausted.  

Be kind to yourselves – avoid staying up all night on the computer searching for suppliers or looking for inspiration.   Its important you get sufficient sleep for mental health, not to mention keeping the dark circles underneath our eyes at bay.

If you are susceptible to stress and anxiety, its particularly important to remember you cannot expect yourself to do everything!    Learn to do things which make you happy, go for walks, exercise, take up relaxation tips or meditation, get out in the fresh air so that you are not always thinking about the wedding.

Bring to mind, it’s just one day – your health and sanity is important so when your big day arrives, you are filled with love and joy - not dread and exhaustion.  Do remember to talk to your partner how you are feeling, yes, it is common for one partner to do more of the planning than the other, but they do love you and don’t want you to feel troubled.    This is particularly relevant when looking at each family’s arrangements for example.

Divide Up the Tasks & Ask a Friend

If you are wishing to plan the day yourselves, then share the love.   Divide up tasks to your friends and family.  That way, by sharing the load, you will feel less burdened, and it becomes more manageable.  And true friends love you, and will help where they can.

Write down your planning/lists, keep tabs on how much you are spending.    Try not to continually go over your seating plans for example, remember sometimes you can’t please everyone.  Its much better you let some things go, rather than feeling like you want to explode over who doesn’t want to sit where!

Keep in mind you are not Wonder Woman or Super Man!  When organising a wedding, its best to just focus on that rather than tackling all the other jobs on your list such as painting the house.   Even dust can wait another day!  

Hire in Help

Alternatively invest in an Independent Wedding Planner, its their job to provide support and expertise.  They can either work with you from the very beginning, sourcing venues and suppliers that meet your vision (and budget, often negotiating on your behalf to secure the best deal).  Money and going over your agreed budget is often a reason to argue, so getting the Planner to save you money from suppliers is always a positive.  Think of a Planner as your personal assistant, its an investment as weddings on average take between 250 to 300 hours to plan! Thats alot of work to put in, and you could use those hours doing something that you enjoy - like date nights!

Alternatively a planner can be hired for just on your big day, you would simply hand over all your plans and then they will manage and coordinate everything so that you can sit back and enjoy the day without rushing around ensuring all the behind the scene tasks are taking place.

If you want to do the planning on your own, then why not visit a local wedding fair to speak to the suppliers, or search online - just type in google 'wedding planner' or many advertise on wedding directories if you like the idea of professional planning help. If you feel this is the way you want to go, ask the Wedding Planner questions, see if you are both in tune with your ideas - rapport is very important; after all they are representing you!

Its important to understand that there are differences between an Independent Wedding Planner -v- a Venue Wedding Coordinator. Basically the venue coordinator works for the venue and only focuses on the venue side, whereas the independent wedding planner covers everything else! From guiding you throughout, from styling and themes, invites to outfits to band and so on plus ensuring you are looked after ie food and drink in your hand!


In brief remember:

·       Focus on whats a priority

·       Make to-do-lists

·       Consider hiring a wedding planner

·       Delegate tasks

·       Whilst its good to talk to other wedded couples, don’t compare (keeping up with the Jones doesn’t help the stress levels)

·       Take time away from planning

·       Look after your mental and physical health

·       Talk about how your feeling – troubled halved as they say

·       The bigger picture - Its just one day and ask yourself is it worth having a negative impact on your health or put yourself into debt for years to come? So keep it manageable.

And if you are feeling like breaking point trying to cope with it all, aim not to let planning a wedding take over your life.  Remember there are plenty of people out there who will help you. Talk to your family or friends, or seek professional wedding support so you can go and do the fun bits, like tasting cake and booking the honeymoon...

Written by
Amanda-Louise Knight

Amanda-Louise is the creative director of her UK award winning business, Amanda-Louise Knight Weddings Proposals & Events. She provides advice to modern couples who want unforgettable weddings that set the tone about their celebrations and love.

Amanda-Louise is a current celebrant, and has been involved in the events industry for over 30 years. Her love for logistics, she is wedding and marriage proposal planner in the South West of England. A dog lover herself, she is owner of Somerset Wedding Day Dog Chaperone Service ensuring furry babies are included or cared for by her team.

She is mentor to other celebrants and venue consultant to her corporate business clients dedicating her time to helping them grow their own businesses.

And it all starts with making a date with Amanda-Louise!

‍Blog Disclaimer - the article is opinion based by the author only, the content is for information purposes only, and as such is not guaranteed. Whilst its intended to be accurate there may be some unintentional errors, mistakes or omissions and therefore may be subject of updating. In accordance with any advice articles should the reader wish to rely on this information, they do so at their own risk. Any prices quoted are accurate at time of writing content.

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